The End of Snow Days

Snowmageddon!

It was scary the first time you heard it during the Snowpocalypse of 2009. Remember when all the melted snowmen resurrected to punish the children that abandoned them last spring? That would’ve been awful if the frosty demons had more than sticks for arms! To be safe, top hats were burned by the hundreds. They’ll never be back in fashion.

NEVER AGAIN!!!!

The news named FOUR Snowmageddons last year and another one that just past last week! None of them were as I expected with summer angels wielding swords of warm sunlight defending us against ice aliens from Pluto angered by their loss of official planet status! Just lots of snow that will eventually melt – like those damned snowmen.

You can’t use two consecutive references to the end of the world because there can be only ONE END! The eco-thriller The Day After Tomorrow had no sequels because its title sucked – along with the plot and acting. Lets be creative dinosaur-media journalists struggling to save your industry!

Blizzard-Krieg!

Snow-nami: The White Wave

The Ice (Ides) of March, Beware It!

The Last Bluster: Judas, you Out Cold!

Four portmanteaus in forty seconds, no film at 11!

All the while they’ve been turning a frostbitten eye to the true danger. Snowzilla! Why the Japanese sicked him on us is still a mystery as much as how they got him to breathe FIRE!.

And all this time you've been afraid of China.

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