Kanye’s Crutch

Somebody needs to Twitter, pray to his Fan Page or sacrifice a big-booty blonde virgin – whatever can get a message to the heights of Kanye West’s Olympian ego.

Lord ‘Ye OBVIOUSLY considers himself the greatest rapper out now, kinda like a B-average student drivin’ the short bus. He’s more clever than Li’l Wayne, more energetic than Jay-Z and smoother than Eminem. I’m more handsome than Ted Williams – don’t look for me on the cover of GQ.

His Exalted Mouthiness needs to remember that CONSISTENCY of EXCELLENCE makes greatness. Fame is just a potent side effect, not the source.

How is being an egomaniacal media cry baby a RISK?

A performance of his latests single,  All of the Lights, was the climax of the NBA All Star Game half-time show this weekend. I noticed the level of the mics were lower than Kobe’s number of assists. Couldn’t make out much of West’s lyrics, nor Rihanna’s – but what man actually LISTENS to Rihanna? The track itself was very musically complex (if over produced) and triumphal – fitting for the contest of the night.

SEE, I’m not a hater. My appreciation for K-West at his best is what makes his fuck ups so obvious.

First off, I was expecting to see Alicia Keys, Fergie and Sir Elton since they are mentioned as features on the song. NOPE. Granted, each of their parts were tiny, but they were billed. Even Kid Cudi couldn’t get a night off from the concession stand to drop his two mumbled sentences. Rihanna’s grinding crotch was there, so I assume the rest of her was too.

Tonight I looked up All of the Lights on youtube, with the lyrics:

Something wrong
I hold my head
MJ gone…our nigga dead!

Yeah, that was a blow to us all and especially Kanye I imagine. He’s been under similar pressures.
I slapped my girl, she called the feds
I did that time and spent that bread

What did she have to do with Michael Jackson’s death? I’m sure she grieved too. No need to take it out on her. The feds? Really? Were you dating Malia Obama or something?
I’m heading home, I’m almost there
I’m on my way, heading up the stairs
To my surprise, a nigga replacing me
I had to take ’em to that ghetto university

That too bad, but what the FUCK has this got to do with lights?

All of the lights
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights

ENOUGH! This is like singing Bingo was his Name-Oh at the funeral of someone NOT named Bingo.

Where’s the super BIG balls you HAD in Power? Albino Black muses wrapped in silk with goat horns! “Now I embody every characteristic, of the egotistic. He know, he so, fuckin’ GIFTED.” Sounds like a powerful motherfucka even though he 5’8″.

Maybe I don’t get the irony. More likely All the Lights should’ve been an instrumental.

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2 Responses to “Kanye’s Crutch”

  1. Now, THAT was funny.

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