Vick’s Back: Sew What?

Dogs are cute with their humany eyes and playful spirit, but anything that CAN’T appreciate my humor is really just a dumb animal. Football players may be included in this group, but I’m NOT above Sports-related knock-knock jokes if the pay is decent … or present.

Michael Vick has recently been signed to a new Nike endorsement deal. Some are glad that he’s redeemed himself enough to be popular again. Some are still bitter over the shadow of his Dog-Hitler reputation; to be fair, his indirect involvement is more like Dog-Goebbels.

Nike is in no position to grant forgiveness for cruelty with their support of  sweatshop labor.

Workers in these third-world factories are routinely punished for not producing enough sweat, the main lubricant of their sewing machines. Overheating parts must be BLOWN ON to keep them working. Damage to the equipment will be docked from the worker’s paycheck; with average wages, a debt lasting three GENERATIONS.

They are forced to drink cheap All Sport beverage to catch up their liquid output. A popular motto in the shops reminds all employees, “Gatorade is for sewers!”

Those late to their shifts are forced to wear rejected Nikes THREE sizes too SMALL.  The resulting foot cramps as painful as the upside-down Nike swooshes are EMBARRASSING. Bathroom breaks are unnecessary since urine is the secondary lubricant of their sewers.

15-minute lunch breaks involve ENFORCED shoe lacing contests between different departments, while other workers watch and enjoy company-issued Powerade broth. Losers are forced to shave themselves and braid their OWN hair into laces before their break ends.

Vick’s endorsement, although valuable, reconnects him with further cruelty.




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