Group Gank

I recently learned from Twitter that teenagers have taken Flash Mobbing to FLASH ROBBING. “Teenager” is here used as a euphemism. More accurately, as one Youtube uploader puts it, “Pack of Jigs Rob Store”.

I blame OPRAH.

The Black Eyed Peas helped her open the 24th season of her show with a giant choreographed flash mob in downtown Chicago. This is when MILLIONS of middle-aged Black women first learned of flash mobbing. Afterwards, urban mothers – who normally view computers as a dreaded work tool – demanded their children find it on “the Youtubes”.

This is when urban youth FIRST learned of flash mobs. It’s an event that leaves a lasting impression. It didn’t take long to soak into hood vernacular. At one neighborhood rhyme cypher, this crime was conceived in freestyle composition:

“My crew move together

like a FLASH MOB.

Run ya jewels or whatever

as we RIP and ROB.”

The meter is off, but the IDEA becomes CLEAR: lets do a caper together at the same time and place!

I’m not sure if they used the term “caper”, but the Ebonic equivalent was no doubt bandied about by the bandits. Whose gonna suspect the twenty of us hanging around a store? Black men DON’T have a HARD enough time with racial profiling.

Just Flash Robbed a Men's Warehouse

Its not ALL bad. Flash Robbing demonstrates the youth using social media to coordinate entrepreneurial ventures in their community. The RACIST media isn’t reporting the waves of Flash Lemonade Stands popping up in cities across the country.

When I requested a comment from Ms. Winfrey on Twitter, she did not respond within a minute-long WAIT.

The young hip-hopist that first rhymed “mob” and “rob” isn’t available for contact and is likely MADE UP.

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