Proper Talkin’

Once in while, somebody will “ax” me, “WHY you talk SO propuh?”

I properly ask them “What answer will get my Quarter Pounder faster?” AFTER I see my burger in it’s spit-proof wrapper.

I don’t speak slang all the time cause it’s too limited. BOTH being jealous and judging someone are “hate’in”. It’s too bad there’s no slang version of “constructive criticism”. The closest phrase is “throwin’ shade”, but it could easily mean “you so fat, you block the sun” – which AIN’T constructive.

I used to stutter. As a kid, I spoke ATROCIOUSLY … I mean, I REALLY didn’t talk GOODLY.

I was teased to TEARS and DISMISSED as a dummy. It took YEARS of therapy to learn to control my breathing and my mouth.  NOW, they want to comment on how I can speak PROPERLY?!

I “talk propuh” so I can smoothly say EXACTLY the right words to PROVE I’m better than YOU!

Translation: You Mad


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